How to make your speech longer

From time to time astronomy students have to give a lecture (Students' Seminary). In many cases it is based on some very serious and boring article from some well known scientific journals. In such case it is very probable that You won't find any sense in the article, so even thinking out of seminary idea is hard. So when Your seminary plan made in pain makes some sense, but You know that it will be too short, You can use some tips made in this

"tutorial on prolonging seminars"

1. make Your Power Point (can be Open Office) presentation BIG. Copying it to seminary computer will give you 2-3 minutes.
   
   
2. Preset Yourself despite the fact that everyone perfectly know you. Can give You up to 1 minute.
   
   
3. Try to pretend to be nervous and hobble. You can your statements build in fancy grammatic, and then them rebuild to be correct. Can double Your presentation time.
   
   
4. You can try to mix previous method with making long pauses in statements. BUT: during pause utter some noises and gesticulate intensively, it will make You looking focused. Can give you 10% of the base presentation time.
   
   
5. Change title of your speech. You will have to explain why You did it. Can give you 2-3 minutes.
   
   
6. In Your presentaion use some animations. Changing slides and showing groups of text/pictures will give 2-3 minutes depending on the number of sildes You have and how many pictures You copied from base publication.
   
   
7. NEVER add subtitles under graphs and axes labels. You will have to criticize this habit and explain what is on the graph. Can give 1-3 minutes on each graph.
   
   
8. Make random mistake in some equation. You will make 1 minute pause of complete silence thinking about it. Then You will say that there is an error an explain it. You can also write correct version on a blackboard. Listeners will think that You're perfectly prepared. Can give 2-4 minutes.
   
   
9. If You want to change slide wait few seconds gazing at the screen and thinking whether You have to say something more about this slide. Can give 2-3 minutes depending on the number of sildes You have.
   
   
10. When You are talking about some slide slowly go away from the computer. Don't mix it with point 9. Can give you 1-2 minutes depending on the number of sildes You have.
    
    
11. If You can use projectors' remote controler - use it. Very often they have some fancy system of changing slides (in wrong directory). Don't try to remember how to change to a next slide, make it to the previous and then nerviously press correct button more than one time and then return to correct slide. Don't use it too often. Can give up to 1 minute.
    
    
12. At the beginning make a slide with a plan of Your seminary, and say most of things You have to say. On every slide recall what was on the previos slide, and mention somethong about next slide. In the middle of presentation make a summary of the first part and plan of the next part. At the end make a summary and say the same things fourth time. Can give you even 15 minutes.
    

Using this tutor You can make Your 15 minutes presentation to last for 1 hour, but it needs some practice to make it correctly and unnoticed.
If You know of some prolonging trick please write it here, generations of young astronomers will be thankful.